nothing is real but, like, *shrug*

The first thing that I think of when I look back on what middle school taught me about finding appropriate sources is that you should only trust sites on “.edu” and “.gov” domains.

( Now, consider the fact that Present Day Me views both the education and governmental systems to be largely working against the general public, and you can see a bit of a conundrum here. Basically, the whole world is fake. No system is helping you 100%. Time isn’t real and we’re all gonna die. All that in mind just makes you kinda wanna float along and find your own bliss, maybe smell a rose or two, doesn’t it?

Take a leaf outta this guys book:

Wait, is this nihilism? Or like, a less pessimistic form of nihilism? There’s a word for it I think, but I forget what it is )

Regardless, though, that middle school rule does kinda stick with me when trying to find credible online sources. Nowadays I’ll include news sites as well, but I’ll really only ever put actual “trust” in–… I was gonna say academic journals, but my research class has been tripping me up about those, as well.

We had to do a blog post about this one article and I went on and on about how I agreed with the content because a, b, and c, only to get to class and have my professor point out major flaws and discrepancies within the article.

And y’know…

That’s just not fair.

Years of being on the internet have given me a very polarized internal process regarding what I find on there. I’m either incredibly skeptical or incredibly gullible, and it doesn’t take a lot of convincing for me to switch up my opinion.

It’s honestly just exhausting, and I think in more recent years I’ve just gone with the flow of information and, if I’m really Actually invested, I’ll do some research and ask around. If I’m not Actually invested, welp. I’ll go along with my day. Shrug.

So I guess the latter is what happened when I first heard that 8 spiders myth. Don’t get me started about that video that was in this week’s (last week’s, technically) Netnarr post. Listen, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the massive meta-troll that whole thing ended up being.

10-year-old me just accepted that she ate spiders, okay? She didn’t know about meta-level “people will believe anything” discourse, and while 24-year-old me appreciates all of this and finds it Really Heckin Cool, she also just wants to take a nap because dang y’all this is Too Much. Too Extra.

A petulant part of me just wants to be like did y’all really have to go that deep?


Heh. I just realized that, along with my investment in the topic, the relationship I have with the person sending me viral pics/news/gossip/etc. will determine how much effort I put into further research. Like, I’m relatively new to a particular group of friends (is 2ish years still new or–) who all share a common interest (kpop) that I’m also relatively new to. So when someone drops a viral post or gossip article, I trust it, trust them, right off the bat. (Unless I’m real passionate about the particular topic and my Insatiable Emotional Outrage has prompted me to scour twitter tags and soompi articles myself.)

But yeah. It’s interesting.

Ha. Insatiable Emotional Outrage reminded me: mayhaps it would be a good idea for me to start checking my emotions more when it comes to this stuff. I’ve been told that I can be more emotionally driven than logically driven. Whew. That realization was a huge slap in the face back in the day, because I recall equating academic success solely with a strong sense of logic.

My initial response of what do you MEAN i’m drIVEN BY MY EMOTIONS? ?? probably should’ve been a pretty clear sign, I think.

But anyway.

So this Data Detox thing, right?

Currently working on Day 3, and I’m looking through my “Interests” on Facebook. I don’t know how they think that I’m into gambling (ya gurl is Cheap as Hell) but *chokes* everything else was pretty accurate at one point or another. Nowadays I’m barely on Facebook doing Actual Facebook Things outside of using Messenger, so the interests on there have stopped at like late-2016-era Me. And that’s a Yikes.

Yo, it felt so nice to alter those ad preferences. Don’t use my info Mark Zuckerberg, that’s creepy. Also, making it impossible for people to find me on FB with my email or phone number is pretty relieving. As for the deep clean, though, I know there are some cringey posts I’d like to get rid of, but do i want to delve into the black hole that was high school me? no. We’ll save that for another day, after I’ve mustered up the courage.

Reminds me of a song quote that I might wanna get a tattoo of one day:

If I could make amends with all my shadows, I’d bow my head and welcome them.

–“I Of The Storm” by Of Monsters & Men

Yeah, man. Goals. Accepting and acknowledging your demons. Cathartic stuff.


Actually. I think that’ll be all I’ll cover in this post. It’s already been… a Lot.

Before I go, though, I thought I’d drop a little something I’d like to call a Song For Thought.

Since we’re talking about the darkness of the internet and social media, I’d like to draw attention to a “instagram” by DEAN. I won’t go into it too much right now, but I think the look at interpersonal relationships and (dis)connection to society through a social media dependency frame is… really interesting. At least, that’s what I gathered from the song.

I DUNNO. DEAN IS COOL. His, ah, look here maybe ain’t his greatest… but the guy’s a killer songwriter, and I had this song on repeat for like… all of 2018.

Alright. Now I’m done.

G’night, y’all.


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